I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
