when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
