I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
