i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
