Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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