Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I stole a fireplace last night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
