Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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