I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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