Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
