I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize