I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
