It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
