It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
