C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
