im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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