No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
