imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
