i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
