Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
