They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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