if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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