There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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