drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
