How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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