Dual....:-)
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This baby is an asshole
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
