Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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