I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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