We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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