I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
