The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
