you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
