I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
