just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
