I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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