So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
