How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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