yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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