maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
