Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
