I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize