Is it because I queefed?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
