Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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