just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
