life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
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