so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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