Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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