So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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