Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize