I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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