i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
operation have a gay friend backfired
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
