ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
