Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
