so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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