I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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