The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We're too hungover to prance.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
