I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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