Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
