Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
