were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
