I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
now i know why i became what i already was.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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