did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
